just why
28 February 2009 10:53 am
I'm having one of those horrid days.
Not where anything bad is happening but I'm really fucked off over all sorts of bollocks. Bf and Matthew are out while I secretly seethe and go through a small period of self loathing and lack of confidence.
I don't know why I am so pissed off with what I am bothered about. I suppose it comes down to feeling like I don't fit in anywhere. I know I am going to sound really bitter here but I don't care.
I read on facebook that there's a mums night out from the school. I don't know why it's pissing me off. I know of these mums, but don't really know them but I'm sort of jealous. For God's sake their kids aren't even in Matthews class but I have a little envy that I never seem to do anything anymore. I'm not one of those cliquey mums who hang around outside the school for a good 10 minutes before they are due out, I'd rather just leave late, pick Matthew up and go home.
My social life is pretty non existant but I'm happy with that the majority of the time. My life is my kids and that will always come first. I don't feel like I fit in with my old friends anymore, they've all got their own things and given the choice I'd rather have an evening out with bf over anyone else. If I am invited out, I will often say no with the excuse of the kids but I just feel like a social misfit and can't be bothered with society.
I feel like I am past it at 28 right now!!!
Maybe I'm just tired and a little over emotional as I'm barely sleeping this week. I can't get comfortable and James likes to get up early.
I feel like I'm neglecting everyone including myself and just want to be a little hermit with just me and my family.
So why do I feel so crap about stupid bloody things?
Welcome to the brain of a woman.
Design By RP Designs, edited by Me.